This page deals with a kind of sexual practice. If that's what you came for, please scroll down the page.

If the search engines brought you here for more general information, you may be find the information you are looking for with less embarrassment in one of the pages in the following list:

 Male Behavior  
 Men's Feelings  

 Why Do Men Like Breasts?  
 Why Do Men Look at Other Women?  
 What Do Men Want in a Woman?  
 How to Get a Guy to Want You  
 Why Do Guys Like to Tickle Girls?  
 What Men Want in the Bedroom  
 What do men want in a marriage?  

I feel a bit awkward writing this piece, given my generation and upbringing. Nevertheless, a lot of women ask this question each month, and whoever is asking the question probably has many other significant questions about understanding men, so a discussion belongs at this site. But if you are as uncomfortable about sex as I was raised to be, please read one of the pages listed above rather than this page.

Why Do Guys Like to Finger Girls?

Q. Why do men like to finger women?

A. Briefly, it is a stage of intimacy, and men crave intimacy.

In greater detail, there are a number of reasons why guys like to finger girls.

Most women enjoy it, and men love to give women pleasure. It is a gift that he can give her. He loves being able to see, hear, and feel her pleasure. It gives him a feeling of success as well as closeness, and men crave both feelings of success and feelings of closeness.

It goes beyond the pleasure of giving her pleasure. There is pressure on him as a man to be able to satisfy a woman. It is a part of his manhood.

Male sexuality is visual and tactile. Touching a woman gives him pleasure. Holding, stroking, cuddling are innately pleasurable to a man.

In Desmond Morris's twelve steps of human intimacy, touching below the waist is number eleven, one step short of intercourse. It is part of the natural progression, and so it feels right to do it in its proper place.

Since the last four steps — hand to body, mouth to breast, touching below the waist, and intercourse — tend to flow quickly in sequence, we sometimes classify the first three of them as foreplay, but each step has its own rewards, even if you stop there. 

As foreplay, fingering can lead to intercourse and a release of sexual tension. It can lead by itself to such relief.

According to a Kinsey Institute study, in fact, 45% of participants consider fingering itself to be a form of having sex.

Men crave intimacy, a feeling of closeness to another human being, and physical intimacy is a kind of intimacy approved for a man. He can't have verbal/emotional intimacy. He has been trained all his life to suppress his emotions by people making fun of him when he has shown vulnerability — he hasn't even learned names of many emotions — so his main opportunity to feel close to another human is pursuing the steps of physical intimacy.

I hope this doesn't sound too mystical, but when sex goes well, the two people are taken beyond the giving and taking of two individuals into a state where all is shared. Your pleasure is his pleasure, and his is yours. He is giving you both pleasure.


See our article to learn more about what men want in bed

Also see the article, What Men Want in a Woman.

For more closely related information, you can see our article, Why Do Men Like to Go Down on Women?

You can learn many of the things you need to know about men in our mini course on Understanding Men. Sign up for it in the sidebar.

To learn quickly the important things that men want, read Kara's ebook, Men Made Easy (a link is in the sidebar).